


things we lost in the fire

by felicityollies



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Breaking Up & Making Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fights, Kidnapping, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 19:06:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14171523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felicityollies/pseuds/felicityollies
Summary: What was supposed to be marital bliss is slowly crumbling in her hands. He just won’t listen to reason. Oliver and Felicity are taking a break when suddenly their marriage isn’t the only thing falling apart. They need each other more than ever when their enemies set their sights not only on them, but on William too.





	things we lost in the fire

**Author's Note:**

> alright, so this is kind of a mix of 6x04 (the last ep i watched) and 6x18 and an angst prompt that was given to me.... and my own angsty self being inspired by people freaking out over an olicity divorce :D so enjoy

  
It was the quiet after the storm. There was no calm. Only the nervous silence that came with the wreckage. The team had been disbanded. It was Oliver’s decision. The blood from his fight between him and John had barely dried when he lashed out at her. She knew he was on edge, but still she hadn’t been expecting it.

“Stop smothering me!”

She recoiled from him.

“Stop telling me everything is going to be okay when it’s not!”

“I’m just trying to help!” she tried to keep her voice down, but it was difficult to fight her instinct to defend herself.

He stood, shaking his head, “I don’t need your help,” he snapped. She could almost hear the silent, _I don’t deserve it_ that trailed his words.

He was pulling back again. Pulling away from her in his time of need.

“I am your wife. I am here to help you,” she said as she stood.

“Stop,” he moved away from her.

“Oliver-”

“Back off!”

She stood, stunned at his words. He stared at her, somewhat startled himself. It only caused him to pull away more.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he whispered.

“Can’t do what?”

“This,” he gestured around them, “I can’t be the Green Arrow, I can’t be the mayor…. I can’t be your husband… I can’t be his father,” he flung his hand in the direction of William’s room.

“You’re just going through a rough patch, it’s stress… and the PTSD…” she tried to come up with the words to get him to stop this.

“I shouldn’t be around you or anyone,” he snarled, “Don’t you get it!”

“Oliver, stop!”

“Dad?”

Oliver rounded on William, “What?” as soon as he snapped at his own child the anger seemed to lessen, but she knew this wasn’t the end of it.

She had seen him like this before. Seen him at his worst. Been on the receiving end of his anger, but not like this. There was always a way to reach him. To talk him down from his own paranoia and depression. She’d learned over the years that his sadness often showed itself as anger and she knew this was one of those times. But he wasn’t listening.

“I need to go,” he practically ran towards the door, barely stopping to grab a jacket and his keys.

The door slammed, leaving Felicity and William standing there in the silence. She wrapped her arms around her middle and willed herself not to cry. It wasn’t her turn to break. Not yet. William walked towards her, his own eyes shiny with unshed tears, begging her for answers she didn’t have.

She had barely talked to Oliver since the fight. He didn’t want to see her, didn’t want to speak to her. They were on a break as far as she could tell. Not necessarily on their way to divorce, but separated. She and William were living at the loft while Oliver took some space he needed.

Half the time she didn’t know if she was more angry or depressed. Her heart was broken. Oliver was supposed to let her help him. That was what marriage was about. They both knew this. She wanted to be there for him and help him through his bad days, but he pushed her aside again. For what? For her own protection. It was bullshit.

She sat alone in the apartment not knowing what to do with herself. Her friends were gone, her husband had left her, and she had a company she wanted to build, but no motivation to do so. The walls seemed to close in on her as the days went on. So empty. So quiet. The silence was deafening.

The only saving grace was William’s presence. He got home at 3:15 on the nose every day.

Felicity’s eyes moved up to the large clock on the wall; 3:16. She leaned on the table in the dining room and waited. 3:20 and still nothing. She stared hard at the door as if she were willing him to walk through it.

She gripped her phone in her hand and walked around the edge of the table. As her fingers began typing a message to William, she felt a burning tingle in her lower back. She pressed her hand into the spot. The feeling quickly grew, until it was a stabbing burn all the way up her spine.

A scream ripped from her throat and echoed off the walls. The pain was too much to bare. It made her body shake and her vision blur. She could barely form a coherent thought. But she did know one thing. Someone was screwing with her chip. She cried out, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her legs slowly lost feeling. She tried to take another step forward, but lost balance. She came tumbling down, crashing hard on the floor. Her body hit first and then her head with the loud smack, which caused it to bounce just slightly. The edges of her vision began to darken until the world was lost to her.

She awoke to a wave of nausea and a throbbing head. The pain in her back was a dull, thrumming ache. Her eyes slowly opened, but everything was a blur. She could barely remember what had happened. Swallowing thickly, she tried to move, but her body wouldn’t cooperate. She couldn’t move her lower half. It was then the memories came flooding back. The pain and the fall. Her hand went to her face; her glasses had fallen off. She searched the floor only to find them broken and unuseable.

Her phone. Where was her phone? And William. Jesus Christ. She had been about to contact William. Leaning up as much as she could on her forearms, she squinted ahead of her, looking for her blasted phone. She could see the blurry form of an iPhone a few feet ahead of her. Carefully, she pulled her body forward. Pain shot through her. A whimper fell from her lips, but she continued onward. She ignored her back and the throbbing in her head; she had to find William.

Her phone had a crack in corner from the fall, but it was still functional. The message she had tried to send to William sat on her screen unsent. She shoved it away and looked to the time. Hours had passed since he was supposed to come home. Hours since her chip went haywire. It didn’t take a genius to figure out the two were probably connected.

She pulled up Oliver’s name in her contacts. They might be separated, but she needed his help. William needed his help.

“Felicity,” his voice came through the phone, soft and sad, “We talked about this…”

“Oliver listen,” her own voice came out shaky and scared, “Something has happened to William.”

“What?” he was suddenly alert.

She swallowed back a wave of nausea, “He didn’t come home from school…”

“Did you try contacting him?”

“I was going to, but when I tried someone screwed with my chip.”

“What?”

“Oliver, I can’t move and our son is missing.”

She heard a whispered swear on his end, “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

He hung up without saying goodbye. She couldn’t bring herself to care. The phone slipped from her hands and she closed her eyes as she rest her head on the floor. A few tears rolled down her cheeks. How could she have let this happen? William was gone, she was trapped on the floor, and she could barely get her husband to speak to her. His first instinct was to tell her to leave him alone.

She could feel the pull of sleep, but she knew with her head injury she shouldn’t let herself fall asleep; the likelihood of a coma with a concussion was small, but still. It would be so easy. Let herself slip under. The heaviness of sleep dragged at her. It made her eyelids droop and her breathing slow.

“Felicity,” Oliver’s voice sounded muffled, almost distant as if she were underwater, “Felicity, wake up.”

His hand came to her face, lifting it slightly. She tried to force her eyes open, but it was difficult.

“Look at me,” his voice still sounded strange.

His rough and calloused thumbs moved across her cheeks. Her lips parted and she strained to open her eyes. Finally, they fluttered open and she looked up into his blurry face.

“You have a concussion,” he whispered, “I need you to stay with me.”

“I’ll try,” her words came out slurred.

He knelt beside her, holding her upper body close to his. Her head rest against his lower stomach. She swallowed thickly, pushing down more nausea.

“You need to find William,” she spoke slowly, trying not to slur anymore. She couldn’t remember if she had been slurring on the phone with Oliver. If she had, she hadn’t noticed.

“ _We_ will,” he muttered.

“We….” she closed her eyes tightly.

Weeks of hardly any contact. Only anger, lashing out, and distance from his end. She was barely even conscious enough to be angry, but something tightened in her stomach anyway. They needed to work together to find William. It was important. She couldn’t be angry and hurt right now. She should just be glad that he was accepting her help again.

Silence settled between them. Thick and suffocating. Fresh tears burned her eyes. Why was it like this?

She could feel herself becoming more aware, but it felt like a punishment. Her back arched, the throbbing between her eyes was like a rhythmic ice pick, hitting the same spot over and over again. She was lucky she hadn’t thrown up from the pain alone.

“I’m okay,” she finally said.

“You’re not-”

“I’m fine enough you can go get my chair,” she sighed, “It’s in the closet upstairs.”

She pulled away from him and sat up completely on her own. Behind her, she could hear him moving, standing up and heading towards the stairs. She hated sitting there, unable to move. She hated that at any moment her mobility could be stolen from her. Someone did this on purpose. They put her in this situation as a distraction for both her and Oliver. It was the only reason she could come up with. If not that, then they were simply sick and sadistic.

Once she got in her chair, that was it. She was going to work and she was going to find William. If they thought she was useless without her mobility, they were dead wrong. They were dead just for laying a finger on her son.

_Just focus on finding William. Nothing else. Just William._

* * *

Oliver grabbed the chair and Felicity’s spare glasses out of her bedside table. His chest was tight and his stomach sick; torn between fear and anger. But both might be drowned in the guilt that threatened to pull him under. He was good at guilt. Blaming himself. If he hadn’t pushed Felicity and William away would they be in this situation? If he hadn’t fought with John, if he hadn’t disbanded the team, if he hadn’t, if he hadn’t, if he hadn’t.

There was a tiny voice in the back of his mind. A tiny voice that seemed to grow every time he was distressed. The voice which told him he deserved to be alone. He had to push all his friends and family away. He was nothing but death and destruction. Even though he did push William away, he was still kidnapped. Still put in harm’s way because he was Oliver’s son. And now Felicity. Her chip stopped working, but he knew it wasn’t an accident. Someone had hacked her chip the same way John’s arm had been hacked. He didn’t think it was Curtis this time. No, it was in correlation with his son’s kidnapping.

Holding her in his arms had been more painful than he thought. It wasn’t fair of him to feel that way. He was the one to push his wife away. But holding her there, looking into her eyes and seeing not just the physical hurt, but the heartbreak he had put there. He knew those tears were not from the injury. He promised himself, he promised her, he would never break her heart again and he had broken that promise. How could he think he ever deserved her?

“Oliver?” Felicity’s voice startled him back to the present.

He blinked, standing in Felicity’s room with the chair in one arm and her glasses in the other hand. How long had he been standing there lost in thought? He shook his head and headed down the stairs as quickly as possible. Quietly, he set up the wheelchair and handed her the glasses. She slid them on her face as he hesitantly leaned down to pick her up.

“You can help,” she mumbled.

With her permission, he lifted her into the chair. She let out the tiniest whimper, letting him know he hadn’t been careful enough. He was doing a great job of being careful with her. Oliver mentally scolded himself and pulled away from her. He watched her right herself before, turning to reach for her phone. He kept quiet, feeling too afraid to say anything. What could he say? Anything he did say would be wrong and he knew it.

His arms stayed at his sides; he rubbed his thumb and middle finger together nervously. The urgency to find his son was there, but there was nothing to do with his nervous energy. He had to rely on Felicity.

“We should get to the bunker,” she said, rubbing her fingers across her forehead.

He nodded, but wondered just how bad her concussion was. It was hard to tell just by her dilated eyes. There was nothing they could do about it now. Not that she would let him take her to a hospital anyway. They both knew she was the only one who could find William. His computer skills were nothing compared to hers.

It wasn’t like when Felicity had first gotten her injury and there were hundreds of ghosts at his disposal. He remembered the feeling of their bones crunching under his fist. How much better he felt using them to take out his frustration when he was looking for revenge for what happened to Felicity. There wasn’t someone for him to abuse, to kill, to get information. He didn’t want to be that man anymore, anyway. He wanted to rely on Felicity.

The bunker sat empty and lifeless. A thin layer of dust had formed on Felicity’s desk and computers. The glass cases of suits seemed dull and just as vacant of life. It was as if when the team left every sign of spirit had gone with them. The lights flickered on with a soft buzzing. Felicity turned the computers on. The quiet between them stretched on for an eternity. Air so thick he could cut it with a knife.

She finally broke the silence, “I don’t think whoever kidnapped him would keep his phone on, unless they wanted us to find him,” she said as she pulled up the tracking information.

“Who do you think it is?”

“Who’s the last person you pissed off with the ability to hack my chip?” she asked with a bit of snark to her tone.

He didn’t fault her for it, “Cayden James. He still thinks I killed his son.”

God, he closed his eyes tightly. Cayden James had his son and there was a high possibility he was looking for revenge. He squeezed the back of her chair tightly. William was in danger and it was all his fault. He could die and it was _all his fault_. 

“Why involve you?” he asked carefully.

“Distraction?” she offered.

He let out a shaky breath, but shook his head; he didn’t believe it was simply a distraction. Felicity was as much on Cayden’s list as he was. She was a challenge to him.

“He needed you busy for some reason.”

“Another grab at the internet?” she continued to type, not even looking at him.

“Possibly.”

He stared at her profile as she worked. Beautiful and intelligent. A person who deserved so much more than he could offer. The night he ruined their relationship played back in his mind constantly. The look of fear and confusion on her face; the moment of pure sadness when she realized he wanted to end things. It was for the better. She and William both deserved more. But he missed them. His heart ached every moment he thought of them. He itched to touch her again. Oliver couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

The alert from Felicity’s scan went off.

“Got him,” she said, “Which means it’s a trap.”

“I’ll go in prepared.”

She gave him _that look_ which told him he was in trouble.

“What?”

“You’re not going to leave me here to wait,” she snapped.

He frowned, “I’m not taking you-”

“You don’t get to decide.”

“It’s dangerous.”

“And? What’s different about this time versus any other time I go out into the field?”

He swallowed thickly; he was not about to put his foot in his mouth.

“You have been pushing me away, putting me on the sidelines for my own protection and I’m done with it.”

This wasn’t about the mission anymore. She turned her chair, so she was facing him completely. Her eyes were shiny, brimming with tears.

“You don’t get to decide what’s best for me. You don’t get to make decisions that require two people. And you most certainly don’t get to push me away when I’m trying to help. This has always been a partnership,” she grew angrier as the tears rolled down her cheeks, “I have never shied away from the darkness and I’m not about to do it now.”

He reached for her, but she pulled back.

“Don’t touch me,” she whispered, “Let’s just get ready to go.”

Oliver watched her wheel down the ramp and towards the weapons drawers. His chest was tight and his own eyes burned. She was right; she was always right. He didn’t know what to do. So, he pushed down his feelings and followed her. He wasn’t going to dress as the Green Arrow. There was no point. They needed to get the hell out of there as fast as they could. Holsters and guns it was. He made sure they were both prepared before they left for Cayden’s lair.

* * *

Felicity hadn’t meant to yell at him. It boiled over until she couldn’t control it. They needed to focus on William, but it didn’t stop her heart from hurting. She felt immense guilt for even taking a second to spill her feelings. There wasn’t time for it.

They made it to the location her scan found for them. It was a nondescript warehouse just past the Glades. Somehow it seemed the perfect location for Cayden. They had parked a few blocks away and she was wheeling down the sidewalk with Oliver. She was glad she had kept up on her upper body strength exercises or it would have been a nightmare. No, she knew even if her arms were aching and turning to jelly, she would have pushed through it. She would do anything for William. Felicity loved that child as if he were her own. Hell, he was her own. She didn’t care about blood relation. William was a part of Oliver, in Oliver’s words the purest part of him, and she loved everything about her husband, which meant she loved William with everything she had.

The thought made her that much more angry anyone had dared to take him from her.

They slowed their movements as they neared the door. She let Oliver move ahead. He checked for boobytraps, but found nothing. The door creaked open like a scene in a horror movie. Oliver held one of his guns, two handed, pointed at the door.

“Is that anyway to greet your host?” Black Siren chuckled.

“Where’s my son,” he snapped.

“We’ll get to that,” she pushed the door all the way open and motioned for them to come inside.

It was all too easy.

Oliver glanced back at her and she shrugged. What choice did they have? He walked in first and she followed.

“Nice chair,” Black Siren laughed.

“Fuck you.”

“Feisty.”

“Back off,” he pointed his gun at her again.

Black Siren raised her hands in surrender, but the look on her face was anything but innocent. The door closed and she started to walk ahead of them. She led them down a dimly lit hallway towards the main part of the warehouse. It was set up with hundreds of computer systems. There was a large screen and a keyboard, but it was so much power in one place for one little set up. Her eyes moved over the screen, numbers, a countdown, so much information to take in at once, but she knew what Cayden was up to instantly. She had been right. It was another grab at the internet, but he was doing it from the comfort of his own…. warehouse. Stolen tech and no way for anyone to stop him.

She could stop him.

“Where is William?” she asked this time.

“I can either lead you to William or I can let you stop this countdown,” she smirked wide as she gestured to the open keyboard.

300 million people or one child. That wasn’t fair.

She looked up to meet Oliver’s gaze. Those blue eyes pleading with her. They both knew what the _right_ choice to make was. They had come in there guns blazing, no plan, and now they didn’t know what to do.

“Clock is ticking,” Black Siren said all too cheerfully.

“Go get William,” she whispered.

“I’m surprised,” the other woman laughed, “C’mon _Ollie_ , we’ll leave hot wheels here to think about what she just did. There’s no elevator anyway.”

She grabbed Oliver by the arm and wrenched him towards the stairs. Felicity watched them leave before wheeling as fast as she could towards the keyboard. She didn’t know why Black Siren had left her there unsupervised, but she didn’t care. She had been hoping that would be the case. Felicity was the fastest hacker alive and she was about the prove herself to everyone.

A couple seconds in, she heard a shout and a gun go off. It startled her, but she had to trust Oliver had it handled.

“Please,” she whispered, willing her fingers to move faster.

Felicity found her way past Cayden’s firewalls with a lot of effort, but she did it. She was so close to getting the program shut down when she heard someone coming up behind her.

“How did I know I would find you like this?” Black Siren asked.

“Because you left me here alone on purpose,” Felicity snapped, “Why?”

“Maybe I wanted an excuse to kill you.”

“As if you needed an excuse.”

A scream tore from Black Siren’s throat. It pierced her ears and forced her to stop working to cover them. The sound did nothing for her throbbing head, except make her wonder if it might explode.

“Maybe I was supposed to keep you alive unless….”

“Unless I stepped out of line,” she panted.

Felicity forced herself to type again. She may only have a few moments, but she was going to use them. Black Siren’s hand came down against her chair, tugging it backwards and knocking it down. She tumbled out of it and onto her back only a foot away from the keyboard. Without hesitation, she attempted to crawl towards it.

Siren screamed again.

Felicity’s hands covered her ears, but she swallowed back a cry. Black Siren put her hand on Felicity’s shoulder and pushed her over onto her back.

“Is this the only way you could kill me,” she spat, “Get me back in my chair?”

Siren punched her in the mouth. Felicity arched her and groaned in pain. She spit blood in Black Siren’s face as her hand slipped behind her back.

“Bitch,” the other woman hissed.

She opened her mouth to scream again, but Felicity slammed the barrel of a gun into her stomach.

“I am not as weak as you think I am,” she whispered as she pulled the trigger.

The noise was louder than she thought it would be and the blood was instantaneous. Black Siren stumbled off of Felicity, shocked by the gunshot wound. Felicity scrambled onto her stomach and crawled back towards the computer. She leaned up as much as she could and with her bloody hand finished putting in the code.

Black Siren screamed again behind her. Felicity dropped to the floor, she lifted the gun again, but it was too late. The scream rattled her eardrums and twisted her stomach. For the second time that day, darkness began to overtake her. The last thing she remembered was the vague echo of Oliver’s voice, shouting _“Stop!”_

* * *

Oliver sat in a quiet hospital room. His chair between two beds. On one side of him was Felicity and the other William. Both sleeping, exhausted from the day’s events. He had never been more relieved to be in a hospital.

There had been no negotiating with Cayden. He knew if Oliver showed up there he was going to die. Somehow the man thought he was going to at least get his plan to see the light. Cayden didn’t know Felicity very well. But Oliver knew and he trusted her to do what needed to be done. He realized as he stood across from Cayden James, fighting for his son, that they were still a team. No matter what, he and Felicity would never stop being a team. He needed her and she needed him.

There was a part of him that was still scared. His thoughts always turned against him. Told him he was unworthy of her love. Unworthy of being a friend, a husband, and a father. He grew depressed and angry, he lashed out. But he loved her more than anything. He wanted to be with her and knew there was nothing that would stop him from feeling this way.

Felicity stirred and her eyes fluttered open, “Where am I?” she mumbled after a couple of seconds.

“Starling General,” he said softly, taking her hand.

“William,” she sat up straight.

“Is in the bed beside you,” he helped her lie back down.

She looked over in the bed and sighed, “Is he okay?”

“Exhausted, bruised, and a little dehydrated, but he’s okay.”

“Tough like his dad,” she mumbled.

“And his mom,” he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.

She gave a smile, but it faltered slightly.

“Curtis has offered a truce to perform the surgery on your back,” he said quietly.

The smile was completely gone now, “I’ll think about it,” she sighed.

He nodded. The unbearable quiet began to creep up on them again. He refused to let it wrap around them.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, “I shouldn’t… I didn’t mean to….” he squeezed her hand, “I never want to hurt you, Felicity. I love you more than anything, but…. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve any of this.”

“That’s not true,” she gripped his hand back, “Those dark thoughts nag at you and they try to convince you that you’re this bad person, but you’re not. You’re having a hard time, but you can’t let those thoughts push me away. I am here for you. I am your wife and I love you so much. We both do,” she nodded to William, “We’ve both been worried about you.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again, tears rolled down his cheeks, “I want your help. I do. I’m…. scared.”

He sighed and leaned his head into her lap. Her fingers moved through his hair. He missed this so much. Her touch was so gentle and calming. He didn’t know how or why, but sometimes she seemed to run the monsters away with her soft touch.

“You’re my partner, my teammate, and my wife… and I need you.”

“I need you too, but you have to talk to me.”

“I swear I’ll try harder.”

“That’s all I ask,” she sighed and continued to move her fingers through his hair, “I love you so much, Oliver.”

“I love you too.”

He wrapped an arm around her leg and settled against her. This time when the quiet came it was a comfortable quiet. He didn’t feel like he was going to drown in it.

“I can’t believe you shot Black Siren,” he mumbled after a few moments.

She snorted, “You gave me a gun for a reason.”

“That I did,” he said, unable to keep the pride out of his voice.

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think!
> 
> tumblr: sydneyhallers  
> twitter: felicityollies  
> curious cat: felicityollies


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